Ambien. No doubt about it.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
