So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
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