I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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