just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
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