as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
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