i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
