Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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