If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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