Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
