no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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