i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
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