I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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