Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
