The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
