I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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