just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize