hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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