I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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