I just pynch a tree in the face
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
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