Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
