I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize