I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
