I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
