careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize