i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
