I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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