isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
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