idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
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