FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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