tell your sister to shave her snatch
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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