I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
