omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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