My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
My vagina is very pro this idea
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
