You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
