can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
