she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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