whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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