What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
