On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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