My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
