Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
