if i can run in heels then i can drive
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
BRING THE BAGELS
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
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