And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
