take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
