I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
