Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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