No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
