Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
