If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
