guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
i just google imaged poop.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
