I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
