It's Friday. Sex?
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Houston, we have a squirter
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
