Already got asked if we're dating
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
