A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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