Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize