I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
