Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
The best revenge is premature balding
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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