Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
