I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
