It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
