using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
