roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
