If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Randomize
