I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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